The following is an excerpt of a letter sent to a Lover after he asked me, "What did I want our sex journey to be?" It took me a few months to think about, as it was the first time a lover asked the question in that way. After months of passionate bliss, after growing and loving and evolving with him, I finally answered his question. This is a real letter I sent to a lover, with a few personal tidbits taken out. It still contains personal details most probably wouldn't readily share but I think its important to also have these conversations out loud.In fact, I even posed the question to my friends on facebook to hear what they had to say and some of their responses are at the end. I imagine that although somethings will always remain the same for me regarding my personal sexual journey, no matter who my lover is, that also for every lover in my life, this letter would be different. I think...
Dinner was pretty standard. In the sense that we were at a restaurant and ate food. (It also happens to be one of my Top 10 Sexy Places to Dine in NYC). However, in retrospect, I wonder what those around us must have thought. After ordering nearly everything on the menu…. I do recommend everything on the menu, Derek and Beth changed our seating arrangements. They wanted to sit in a booth. They wanted close proximity. SO they sat me between them, and they both scooted in real close to me. There was no space between us all. Unless they were eating, their hands were on me. The waitress raised an eyebrow but didn't ask questions.
That’s how Beth* introduced me to her husband. As a gift for his 40th birthday. What they both didn’t know was that they were also a gift to myself for my birthday too.
I had tried for years to take part in a threesome with various lovers, but it never happened. Either we couldn’t agree on a person we were mutually interested in who wanted us both. Or we couldn’t agree on whether it would be a friend, an associate, an acquaintance or a stranger. Or once, as a threesome was beginning to happen between a lover and a mutual associate who he also happened to be dating, things tanked quickly. She and I were fine. In fact, we were topless in his bed making out like high-schoolers. The moment happened so organically. We were ready, but he was not. He froze. He chickened out. So I went home unfulfilled.
Fast forward, five years later and I’m living in NY, using OKCupid like a Master Siren Wo...
What do you want your dating and love life to FEEL like? What is it that you want to EXPERIENCE?
I’ve come across quite a bit of jaded, exhausted, bitter, sad, hurting and/or bored people who are “tired” of dating. In fact, after breaking up with one lover and checking in with him, he said he was so tired of his repeated cycle that he might just marry the next woman who had all of her teeth, for simplicity sake.
I want to offer some food for thought and a perspective shift because I simply cannot imagine ever being tired of dating. DATING, to me, is so amazing, fun and adventurous. Sure, some people have challenging personalities, need a little self-improvement or simply are not for me but DATING! How can one be tired of dating?!?! I define “dating” or a “date” as the intentional time set aside to spend with someone I am drawn to on an emotional, sensual, physical, sexual, spiritual and/o...
Last year I went on a few dates with a man who identified as a Submissive in the BDSM world. As I thought about our possible dating adventures, I recoiled at the idea of a future with him. In discussing my "issues" with a friend, I was given a new lens by which to view submissive men. You should know that I'm constantly open to realizing my judgment and understanding needs critique, refinement, and growth. Sometimes my perspective needs a complete 180 or a deeper dive. Therefore, I was pleasantly surprised to shift my thoughts when it came to submissive men in the bedroom.
When I speak of a “submissive man,” in this context I’m referencing “submissive men” within the BDSM and/or Kinky and/or Fetish world. I’m talking your erotic escapades or sexual acts. I’m talking about when he consistently wants you to take charge in bed. I’m not talking about his personality as a man. He could be a...
If you’ve spent any amount of time with me, you’ll quickly learn some of my catch phrases. I describe things, people, and experiences as “Yum.”
“Look at her! She’s yum.” “How was my day? It was yum.”
There are two other phrases I use practically EVERY SINGLE DAY!
#WolfShit and #SirenShit.
I say it so much…. I reference myself as both so much….. I call others those names so much that I’m often asked, “What is a Wolf and what is a Siren?” I’ve also learned after attending the latest Sweet Spot show in New York City, that “the Wolf” term & hand symbol has cycled into rotation throughout the show. Have you seen the cast hold up “the Wolf” sign? You’ve probably held it up too!
I want to introduce you to my concept of the Siren and the Wolf and then, the next time I see you at the show, I really want to see you howl.
A recounting from an evening I experienced with my former Mister.
This is that one time when pulling out the skin tight, skin toned dress that rides up your ass and doesn’t work with panties or a bra will work. You’re going directly from your home and straight to Mister.
And you must wear the heels.
And you must wear your makeup....
.....which must include red lips.
Because when he sees you, he will experience the first of many…
You arrive and he can’t help but touch you. Because that is what that dress demands.
So he turns you and touches you. Then he turns you again and touches you. He positions your barely covered ass perfectly in front of his cock, fully clothed and he pulls you closer. This is what the dress demands.
Mister says, “You did good.”
Next Mister says, “What do you want to do?”
You smile. “You said you were going to restrain me.”
There was a fetish party to attend and he would only allow me to wear a latex dress and 7 inch heels. The heels I had but I’d never owned latex before. We were to meet so that he could pick the dress I was to wear and then we would attend the party.
I knew even before I left my apartment that I would be late. I texted him.
Sheena: The trains run crazy on Sunday. I’m going to be 15 minutes late.
[silence. I knew something else was coming. I knew disappointing him was not allowed.]
Mister: You will get a swat with MY riding crop for every minute that you keep me waiting after 5:15pm.
[his riding crop is more fierce than mine]
Sheena: Yes sir.
[I could have arrived at 5:14pm with the timing of the trains. Instead, I intentionally arrived at 5:32pm.]
I date multiple men. Let's start there. I am single, as in I am not in a committed monogamous relationship. In order for me to ever commit to one man in that kind of way, its imperative of me to date multiple men until I decide I only want to date one.
Before you form opinons on what it means for me to "date multiple men," go read these posts on my website to understand my philosophy.
Once you read those three posts, some of your initial questions and perceptions will probably be answered when it comes to how I date, how it is possible to love/fuck/commit to more than one person and how maybe I am polyamorous but I could just as easily commit to one man.
It should also be noted that dating multiple men is also different than havin...