The following is an excerpt of a letter sent to a Lover after he asked me, "What did I want our sex journey to be?" It took me a few months to think about, as it was the first time a lover asked the question in that way. After months of passionate bliss, after growing and loving and evolving with him, I finally answered his question. This is a real letter I sent to a lover, with a few personal tidbits taken out. It still contains personal details most probably wouldn't readily share but I think its important to also have these conversations out loud.In fact, I even posed the question to my friends on facebook to hear what they had to say and some of their responses are at the end. I imagine that although somethings will always remain the same for me regarding my personal sexual journey, no matter who my lover is, that also for every lover in my life, this letter would be different. I think...
Dinner was pretty standard. In the sense that we were at a restaurant and ate food. (It also happens to be one of my Top 10 Sexy Places to Dine in NYC). However, in retrospect, I wonder what those around us must have thought. After ordering nearly everything on the menu…. I do recommend everything on the menu, Derek and Beth changed our seating arrangements. They wanted to sit in a booth. They wanted close proximity. SO they sat me between them, and they both scooted in real close to me. There was no space between us all. Unless they were eating, their hands were on me. The waitress raised an eyebrow but didn't ask questions.
That’s how Beth* introduced me to her husband. As a gift for his 40th birthday. What they both didn’t know was that they were also a gift to myself for my birthday too.
I had tried for years to take part in a threesome with various lovers, but it never happened. Either we couldn’t agree on a person we were mutually interested in who wanted us both. Or we couldn’t agree on whether it would be a friend, an associate, an acquaintance or a stranger. Or once, as a threesome was beginning to happen between a lover and a mutual associate who he also happened to be dating, things tanked quickly. She and I were fine. In fact, we were topless in his bed making out like high-schoolers. The moment happened so organically. We were ready, but he was not. He froze. He chickened out. So I went home unfulfilled.
Fast forward, five years later and I’m living in NY, using OKCupid like a Master Siren Wo...
What do you want your dating and love life to FEEL like? What is it that you want to EXPERIENCE?
I’ve come across quite a bit of jaded, exhausted, bitter, sad, hurting and/or bored people who are “tired” of dating. In fact, after breaking up with one lover and checking in with him, he said he was so tired of his repeated cycle that he might just marry the next woman who had all of her teeth, for simplicity sake.
I want to offer some food for thought and a perspective shift because I simply cannot imagine ever being tired of dating. DATING, to me, is so amazing, fun and adventurous. Sure, some people have challenging personalities, need a little self-improvement or simply are not for me but DATING! How can one be tired of dating?!?! I define “dating” or a “date” as the intentional time set aside to spend with someone I am drawn to on an emotional, sensual, physical, sexual, spiritual and/o...
One night, because my cycle wanted to fuck with me and I did not have any Instead Softcups and I just cannot fuck a man while blood is dripping down my vagina...screw whatever they say about using a "towel"....because what does that even mean. How does the towel even stay in place? Are people having easy, contained sex in one spot on their bed? Is it the largest towel in the world. My sex is wild. We end up off the bed and on counters and against walls and on the floor and....
Let me begin again.
One night, because my cycle wanted to fuck with me, I could not fuck my main lover. Instead, what we both did was fuck with his cock. For a long time. For such a long time that the thought of sucking anything the next day made my mouth hurt. Possibly because my mouth, jaw and tongue actually hurt from sucking, kissing, licking and touching his cock.
Everything tends to inspire me. It could be a song, a color, a great novel, the scent of a man, the way water feels against my skin....and especially a wonderful, provocative or inspiring quote. If it pleases you, enjoy some of my favorites quotes on sensuality, sexuality, eroticism, pleasure and desire.
Some people underestimate how EROTIC it is to be understood. ~ Mary Rakow in The Memory Room
SEXUAL energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe. ~ Deepak Chopra