An excerpt from my journal in 2012 while participating in a 10 Day Silent & Meditative Retreat at The Dervish Center in upstate New York.
It’s amazing what comes to mind when meditating. Here I am trying to be still and experience breath because to focus too much would be an attempt to grasp it. It being enlightenment, I supposed. And in trying to grasp what ever the fuck "it" is, my attempt to grasp would take me out of the moment. So in working on all of that esoteric personal alchemy, in this holy room, my mind goes to blow jobs.
Sex against a wall.
Being tested again and going on birth control so that he can fuck me deeply and raw.
Thinking, I tell myself to come back to breath.
That's what that Shambhala book told me to do. Don't judge where my thoughts go or how they occur. Don't shut them down. Just be aware they have shifted and label them as "thinking."
There’s something you should know about me. I wholeheartedly embrace who I am as a goddess and a monster. I embrace the sacred and the profane. I embrace the sophisticated and the rachet. I, as a human being, as a woman, as a self described Siren, am not "one" type of person. I like mind blowing sex...that can involve making love or being fucked. I want it gentle and I want it hard. Shit, in the BDSM world, I’m even known as a Switch. (Google that or wait for those blog posts in the coming weeks!)
Therefore, in my holistic embodied way of living life, I’m constantly looking for ways to engage my spirit and my flesh. Hence, today's topic....this concept of “Chakra Sex.”