Often, when people think of the words “fetish” and “kink,” their minds go to the extreme as they think of “BDSM.” If you do not kn
ow, according to Wikipedia, “BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or role-playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism...”. Besides the rise of “Pop” Kink, as popularized by recent movies such as 50 Shades of Grey, many Puritanicals are led to believe that exploring fetishes and kink serve as a gateway drug to an extreme life of debauchery, mayhem, violence and moral decay.
Well, I’m here to tell you that extremity in beliefs serves as a blatant form of ignorance.
First, let’s explore terms.
BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or role-playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, & sadomasochism.
FETISH is something, such as an object, nonsexual part of the body, or distinct act that arouses sexual desire and becomes necessary for sexual gratification.
KINK is a peculiar occasional taste preference in sexual behavior.
And no, none of these words serve as a gateway drug coupled with sex between partners. If your lover shares or inquires about exploring a kink with you, it does not mean there is no going back, you aren’t enough, or that something happened in their childhood.
Your partner could simply enjoy the occasional sensory deprivation during sex, such as being blindfolded- emphasis on the word “occasional.” While most of us do not have a technical “fetish,” I’m pretty sure every single person has a kink. There are even kinks most people feel are inherent to sex that would be labeled a fetish, yet they are “kink”. This could be impact play by way of spanking with hands. Ever have your ass slapped? Perhaps you could be into breath-play by way of a little choking.
If you or your partner have an unexplored kink, give yourself the freedom to speak, learn, and explore your erotic creativity and sensual exploration. Even if its discovered that you have a “fetish,” let yourself have that practice- judgment free. You can also breathe a sigh of release as exploring your kink side can be as rare or often as you want it to be. Erotic expression is not an addiction. It’s an experience that aids in being a fully realized person.
If you want tips on how to introduce the exploration of kink to your partner and/or a helpful kink checklist for lovers, let us know by leaving a comment or sending an email.
The FuckBoi Social Worker is a Pop Erotica column delving into relationships, dating, and sex with an empathetic yet in-your-face approach.